My Life, the List

1. Life’s a funny thing. You’re born, you live, you die, and somewhere within you are touched – by love, by pain, by joy, by fear - by the lives of others. It is a wheel that spins without our control or resistance. And somewhere along the way, maybe, we will touch someone else’s life as well.

2. I know there are lives that impact the course of history. Mine is not one of those.

3. I’ve always been a list maker, but always for the reinforcement I received from crossing things off the list. I make lists now just to be able to function. My oncologist calls it anesthesia-brain and said about the time I recovered a reasonable amount of functional memory following the mastectomy, I would be starting chemo. And chemo-brain is another real thing … she added.

So, my life runs on notes, now. Mostly just one or two words that will remind me that I must order new contacts, soon, and I must get my glasses repaired so I will be able to see adequately to drive myself to treatments, which will undoubtedly cause my eyes to be very dry and make it impossible for me to wear the contacts I order. 

I have two overdue library books that apparently have been in my car for two weeks. I had no idea it had been that long since I had been to the library.

I need hand soap for the bathrooms and the kitchen. I’ve been using the Dial Gold which is antibacterial and was prescribed for use before surgery, and my Dawn dishwashing liquid – both of which dry my skin terribly.

Some of these things have been on my list for a couple of weeks.

Sometimes I forget to look at the lists.